So, Scott (my boyfriend) left to work for Royal Caribbean cruises a month and a half ago. A month and a half ago I dropped him to the airport and said farewell until 8th March 2020. I’ve struggled a lot with this change over the past few weeks, so what better place to document the journey than here.
We have had a rocky time since first getting together in June las year. He was my waiter, I gave him my number on a napkin and it was desire at first sight, if not love. After some months of separation because of life, unfortunately getting in the way, we decided to revisit our relationship after realising we’d like to give it a go.
At this point, Scott had applied to work on cruises so we knew it was coming. For him, this is an amazing opportunity career wise and I certainly wasn’t going to be the one who stopped him from going or got in the way of him going. We knew it would be a choice for us to make about staying together and working hard to ensure we made it through his contract – and that is the choice we made.
Definitely not all plain sailing
There have been some benefits to Scott going away, one being that I can focus on the Chartered Institute of Marketing diploma that I’ve just started in Professional Marketing. With him away I have been able to read, revise, and write without worrying about spending time with him or getting distracted by coffee dates and evenings watching our favourite cookery channel on YouTube.
I’ve also been able to exercise lots more, even taking up Bootcamp to make new friends and get the body of a goddess (I wish haha).
But, despite the added benefits, I was not prepared for how insanely hard this is. I’ve felt heartache and loss like I’ve never felt – which is bizarre as he’s still here, he’s still my Scotch, and he is coming back to me.
Long-distance even for 7 months feels very daunting and for a girl who tends to get bored easily, it’s even more terrifying. So there’s been a lot of emotions and issues I’ve had to work through with myself which as no doubt had an impact on how Scott is feeling about leaving and going to work for Royal. Luckily, my counselling sessions had started at an ideal time so whilst working on other things we’ve been able to delve into my struggles, my attachment style, and the long-distance worries which has been hugely helpful!
I’ve had weeks where I’ve cried solidly and not slept properly out of sadness, anger and worry. I’ve had times where I’ve sadly just wanted to give up, but I’m determined to push through to prove to myself, Scott, and those around me that we can do this and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I’ve joined a long-distance relationship (LDR) group on Facebook for support and for a reminder that others have similar, or even worse, situations that they are facing. I’ve been throwing myself in to exercise and work, in a bid to keep as distracted as possible.
As a few people have reminded me, it’s only been a few months, so I’m bound to be having different stages of emotion whilst me and Scott find our routine and find a way of communicating that works for his schedule and for my need for us to keep the conversation alive. So, we shall see what happens as we move closer towards March 8th 2020.
Are you in a LDR? Comment below about your struggles and your experience!